Ambien Nightmare

At 37 weeks, I'm already sleep deprived.  But last night... well, that was just a joke.  All thanks to my sweet usually sweet, drugged up husband.

Jared has had a really hard time sleeping the past few months, so his doctor prescribed him some Ambien.  I should have been frightened just by that scary A-word.  Jared had taken a few pills and didn't seem to have any weird effects.  Until last night......

After taking his pill, we're laying in bed for about a half hour watching TV, when all of a sudden he rolls over and looks at me smiling, with some creepy look in his eyes, and tells me how drunk he feels.  "Oh great..." I think.

I sort of ignored him, hoping his drunkenness would turn into sleepiness.  But immediately after telling me about his drunk state, he jumps out of bed and starts walking from one end of the hall to the other...  Back and forth, back and forth, over and over again...  Getting annoyed and really tired at this point, I ask him what the he** he's doing!  His response:  "Walking!"

He continues his "walking" for probably 5-10 minutes until finally I can't take it anymore and I start begging him to come back to bed.  "Pleeease Jared, please get back in bed! Please!"  Finally, he stumbles back into bed. 

I turn the TV off and roll over, hoping I can ignore him and get some sleep.  When all of a sudden, Jared is on all fours leaning his head over mine.  Such a creep.  He whispers, "Did you feel that wave?!"  Now I'm just pissed!  "Oh my gosh, Jared, what the crap are you talking about?!!!"  He starts flailing around the bed, muttering something about a raft in the ocean with all these big waves... 

Finally, after all this nonsense and around 1AM, I roll over towards Jared, in tears from pure frustration and exhaustion, and tell him that if he doesn't shut up I'm going to leave!  Meaning, of course, sleep in the other room.  But he looks at me with this look of absolute concern [like what he thinks I mean is that I'm going to divorce him] and whispers, "whaaat??" and keeps repeating it over and over. 

After a few hours of insanity, he finally shut up a bit.  There was a lot of movement going on [who knows what was going on over there], but I was able to ignore it and get to sleep.  ...until about 4AM...  when I woke up with half of his body completely on top of me!  I tried to yell at him to get off but he just kept snoring.  I had to shove him so hard off of me and he still just kept on snoring.

Unbelievable. 

Needless to say, no more Ambien for Jared!