Marathon No More... Part 2

Well...  It's for real this time.  Unfortunately, I am no longer running the half marathon next weekend.  I can't believe the race is so close, and now I can't run it.  :(

After 10 days of resting my knee, cross training, and icing as much as possible, I ran for the first time last night.  For some reason, my knee feels like it has gotten worse.  Not the pain, the amount of pain is the same [although it wasn't only in the front of my knee this time, it was all around it], but the pain came on a lot more quickly.  Before, I could go about 5-6 miles without having to end it...  But last night, after one measly mile I was hurting, and I couldn't go further than 2.8 [I know, I know, I shouldn't have pushed it.  But I couldn't just quit!].  This is not normal, right?  I have been so discouraged and upset.  SO upset!  I have never ever worked so hard for something, and I've never been so excited to accomplish something I thought I'd never be able to do...  And now this happens.  I keep reminding myself, hey, this isn't the last race in the world!  I know my training won't go to waste and that I can use it towards a race next year.  But it still doesn't make me feel any better, feeling as though I'm just having to give up like this.  I know I'm going to feel miserable watching Jared and my friends finish the race... This was supposed to be MY race!  And I'm tired of just being the spectator at all my family's races.  But what can ya do...

I'm hoping that my knee just needed more time.  My plan is to wait a few more weeks and then try again.  If it doesn't feel at least a little better, I'm going to see a doctor.  So if anyone knows any good knee specialists or sport doctors, please let me know.  I have a feeling just a little rest isn't going to cure this dumb knee. 

Who knows...  Maybe after all this work, running isn't my thing.  But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try my hardest!  I've put way too much hard work into this to just stop trying.  :(